Another word on screaming. Only because it is so important and it actually sets the tone of your home. Let’s get it out in the open, most of us do it once in awhile. If your kids are fighting in the back seat and they are hitting each other, touching each other, looking at each other or singing into each other’s ears, we can lose it. Love is patient, except when your three and two year old are pouring sand over your 10 month olds head.
Sometimes screams are for rounding the troops up in the morning before school, that is not the type of screaming I’m talking about. I’m talking about the screams used for rebuke. This will take away from the lesson at hand and turn your children into screamers along with your entire household. Peace and harmony? No way.
A hot tempered man stirs up dissension,
But a patient man calms a quarrel.
Always try to have your children’s feelings and best interests in mind. We must stay focused on the fact that our child is a child of God and that we are given the privilege of being God’s caretakers on earth. This will curb any tendency to abuse our power as parents. We should never embarrass our children in front of family and friends. Parents should always remove a misbehaving child from the room and reprimand in private- especially when the child is five or older. They tend to be more self-aware than younger children. Our children are not replicas of ourselves and like us, they are far from perfect. They are individuals who want to be recognized for their special gifts and talents. They want to be accepted and cherished. The goal of effective discipline is not to make them feel less so. It is, ultimately, to show them that we DO accept and cherish them and therefore, know that they are capable of respectful behavior. He who answers before listening-
That is his folly and his shame.
The Perfect Parent?!
No one is a perfect parent and sometimes we fail miserably. While God asks us to aim to do everything right by our children, we must realize that in matters of discipline, we will occasionally do everything wrong. We scream at our kids at the top of our lungs when we have just had it up to here, there and everywhere. We say something demeaning and disrespectful. We often get frustrated when we try to start out on the right foot with this effective discipline gig and end up flubbing. Here is a suggestion. If this is happening, keep a journal of the mistakes you make. It is like a diet, when you have to write down what you eat you feel more accountable before you put something in your mouth. When what we have done wrong is spelled out in front of us, we become less apt to do it. And don’t give up or give in. The fruit is plentiful when we are good stewards of our children.
Speaking of good stewards and discipline. When we become parents, we put all of our needs and wants on the back burner. What does this mean? You can’t go to college? No. You can’t make goals to learn a trade? No. It may mean you can’t get your nails done, or your hair done so that you can save money or pay for the needs of your child. It may mean you won’t purchase that new outfit or those cute pair of shoes. It also means you won’t be partying so that you can get up with your child in the morning and take care of them. It may mean you’ll get less sleep, less friend-time, less “you” time. It means you’ll read to your child before they go to bed instead of watching your favorite show. Stewardship and discipline are important in parenting. Being selfless instead of selfish is the foundation of those two principles. Addiction is selfish. It demands to be fed, nurtured and catered too. It demands your time, your money and your faithfulness. It demands you lie, cheat and sometimes steal. Addiction is so selfish it robs you of experiencing the best that life has to offer, while giving you a temporary, and horribly inferior “joy”. It robs you of feeling your ups and downs and most importantly, it robs you of your children.
Diligent hand will rule,
But laziness ends in slave labor.