- a. No internet in the bedrooms. If my kids need it for school they do all their research in the dining room or kitchen. This will change as your children get older and transition into high school.
- b. My boys are not to play Xbox games with anyone they don’t know.
- c. No violent video games
- d. Clear rules on appropriate television shows- you will have to decide what is appropriate for your family. The easiest way to find out if it is appropriate is to ask yourself: Does this fit in with goals I have for my children?
- e. My kids don’t have Facebook accounts but they do have Instagram, which I have all the passwords and have complete power over de-friending anyone who is inappropriate
- f. My kids have to ask to “face time” or go onto Instagram.
- g. No technology and minimal television during the week! And this is easier than you think when your kids get older because when they get into middle school- there will be sports, clubs, maybe church, youth groups, etc. By the time my kids get home from school this is what our schedule looks like:
- a. Small snack with some television
- b. Television off and homework
- c. Dinner at 5:00 out the door at 5:30
- d. Sports from 6-8
- e. Home by 8:30- snack and shower
- f. Bed by 9 (my 10 year old is in bed by 8 on non-sports nights) ***Kids today go to bed way too late! With this in place- there is not a lot of time for the outside world to penetrate and the less you have to “over-see” the easier your life will be. We have enough going in our world- keeping them involved in sports/music/keeping grades up is enough, let alone the Apple company taking over another big chunk
h. My kids know that I will check their search engines: the easiest way to check is to go onto Google search and type in por (for porn) or se (for sex) and watch what pops up under the history and there are four types of history:
- 1. top hits
- 2. google search
- 3. bookmarks
- 4. search for history
***If anything pops under these four Google history type searches- someone has been searching for those items.
i. And here’s the most important- talk with your kids about what is on television. If we try to shelter, the more interested they become.
For example: if you see a woman wearing a seductive outfit on television, lead into a conversation with that. It’s perfectly fine to ask your daughters, “What’d you think about her outfit?” But ask your boys as well- engage them when it comes to pop culture and the image of women on the screen. These can be the most important conversations and they tend to allow topics that otherwise both of you might be embarrassed to talk about. However, I made it funny. I presented to my children in the car ride home from school this scenario: “What would you think about Mom putting on a black leather body suit and dancing around for all to see on national television?” My daughter said, “I would hide in a closet and never come out.” I said, really? Because that’s what women do in the music industry- most of them are moms and wives too. I wanted to humanize Hollywood, where society idolizes. Then I went on, “How do you think Dad would feel if I did that? And it was my son who was 12 at the time who spoke up, “You would never do that Mom, it’s so inappropriate.”
Wow- you just never know what will come out of the mouths of babes, especially when they are your own. There was no reason to beat a dead horse, I said, “You couldn’t be more correct.”
j. Also- don’t be embarrassed to ask the important questions when it comes to sleepovers. You have every right to ask if there are televisions in the rooms, if there are computers, if they have phones and internet access AND what their house rules are. If they don’t align with yours, tell them your rules, and say, “If that’s a problem I don’t mind the kids sleeping here.”